well.

I always had the idea in my head that "if you stop looking - then you'll find love". I'm not so sure anymore. I'm not saying I'm in love but I could see it happening. I'm smitten. Yes. I am.

Not sure what else to write.... been a bit busy with this new little *venture*. And I'm really getting used to having a body next to me again at night. Something I didn't think I really cared about but apparently I do.

Wow... so much has changed this past week.

Buddy finally got the hint... we still chat a bit but I'm trying not to let him get any hopes of anything happening between us. I wish the other guy I mentioned would get the drift too but we can't get everything we want right?

So... I left off with the guy I had met two weeks ago. We did hit it off but I could tell he really wasn't that into me. Hung out a few more nights and did the *cuddle* thing and then he put my car radio into my car which was nice. But.... I don't think it's there for either of us.

Then.... when I wasn't really expecting it.... I met S. Hmmmm.... I've only known him a week and we already have such a connection it's really quite scary. It has been a very intense 8 days.... but I'm not running scared yet so I am going to take that as a sign. A very, very good sign.

And leave it at that.

I love London...

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

I love London...

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Why me?

I really do NOT get it. I can't win for trying at dating. EVERY single guy that I've wanted (only been a couple but not the point) it has NOT been mutual. But I have NO problem attracting guys that I could do without.

I have been trying to end things with someone for 1 week now. Seriously. Wow. I am too nice. WHY? Well because I do not want to hurt anyone. And I did feel a connection with this guy as we chatted for so long before meeting but it's not there for me. I can't force it. He doesn't listen. He is far too eager to please. Says things he *thinks* I want to hear. Etc. You get my drift. It's really quite maddening. We are currently going over this all AGAIN on msn right now - this very minute. Ack - will it ever end?

And there is another guy that I met on sunday that is just a bit too much already for me. Talking about taking trips and all this mumbo jumbo. Are you for real buddy? We have spent one afternoon together and you are telling me to dream about you and that you miss me? WTF?

What is it with these guys that are so desperate to be in a relationship? I thought they didn't exist? And what is wrong with me that I don't jump at these offerings? Have I really shut myself off that much that I can't accept this? Or have I learned my lesson and will be picking my next partner with much more care? Jeesh.

Purposely NOT posting about the guy I met last night. Really like him but not getting excited - yet. If I post it here then I might jinx it or my dear friend Murphy will show up. Have you met him yet? He's my friend.

I hate the #4

I'm more of a 3 kind of gal :)

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD
Data Entry. Insurance Industry. First *real* job for the summer before grade 12.
Customer Service @ Canadian Tire. 2 years with a lot of good and bad. Met my soon to be ex-hubby there but I also got a free trip to Vegas.
Cashier @ Lordco. Oooh this had to be the worst. At least I only worked there for 3 months.
Retail. Wow... LOVE the discount - HATE the job. There's a reason I don't do it anymore.

FOUR MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER
Sliding Doors
Wedding Singer
Shawshank Redemption
Practical Magic

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED
Maple Ridge, BC
Coquitlam, BC
Cloverdale, BC
Langley, BC

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE
Gilmore Girls
Amazing Race
Grey's Anatomy
Medium

FOUR PLACES I HAVE VACATIONED
Las Vegas, NV
Jamaica
Europe - all over
My parents cabin near my sister :)

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO EAT
Ice Cream
Subway
Eggs
Chicken

FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY
Jen
POF
Babes
LJT

What a day...

Well I was in a foul mood ALL day... well the 2nd part for sure. I feel just horrible about how I talked to a few people at work today. I'm just so frustrated lately with the lack of communication and expectations. And then, when I was at my part time job tonight my full time boss called and asked about a job that didn't go and why he didn't know about it. Oy. Well I never really screw up but it still doesn't make me feel any better.

So.. I've decided that I want out of my funk and will be bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow :)

Now here's hoping it works!

Am I really the bad person I think I am? Well maybe sometimes...

So... I ended it. I think we're going to stay friends but I just don't want to give him false hope. The saddest part? I know exactly how he feels. You always want what you can't have. It's such a crazy circle. Murphy's Law really - story of my life.

Oh well.... you never know - maybe one of these days I'll come across someone and there will be a mutual liking :) A girl can dream eh?

On another disturbing note.... I'm frustrated with my dear friend. I really just don't know what to do. I know he didn't mean too but he's really made some comments that hurt. I guess he just doesn't have much faith in me and what I'm capable of. Hence the "bad person" title. He makes me feel like that's me and that I am not capable of any empathy. I guess it goes to show you how little he really knows about me. And honestly I'm not really sure what is going to happen. He's hurting and I tried to be there for him - got shot down and insulted - and I'm not sure how much of that I can take.

Long day ahead.... working part time after work so I'm working from 8am to 10 pm with about 30 mins off in there which will be spent in my car. Ugh. Oh well.. need the money!