Ok... officially ok now :)

Ha ha

Yup... woke up feeling great! I may get knocked down but I sure don't stay there very long!

I'm sure I'll still have sad moments but c'mon it was only a month long relationship. :) Yes, I need to do that to remind myself not to take certain things too damn seriously.

It probably helps that I spent the day flirting with a cutie at work ;)

Hey whatever works I say!

Oy

Had a bit of relapse but after having a complete and utter meltdown last night on the phone with my sis (thanks again sweetie) I am once again feeling better. One step forward, two back it seems. I guess I'm a bit hesitant of hanging out with S, which I did on friday and sunday. Made me remember how much I miss him and love just hanging out with him. Even if it's like sunday where we literally just lazed around for hours and hours. I guess only time will tell to see if I can do this.

On other news.... 2 days till 30! Wow. I have a great weekend planned too. Friday I'm hanging out with S, as this was planned pre-breakup. Just a nice relaxing night is all I want. And I'm happy to be spending it with him. Then saturday is the big party! Looks like about 30 people are coming so I'm definately feeling the love! Hopefully I'm feeling better and am up for drinking!

Happy hump day all!!

Sundays are once again my favorite day....

I really do love sundays.

I have a few errands to run, brunch with a friend, lazy afternoon planned and then home tonight to get ready for the work week. So exciting but just the way I like it.

As of friday, I am officially back to me. I love it. I feel great and even though I still get sad about S, we are talking and giving this "friends" thing a try. Could be an interesting road but only time will tell.

I'm already talking to a couple of new guys but I know that my heart just isn't in it, not yet anyways.

Friday is my birthday.... wow... finally here. I have been excited about my 30's for a couple of years now (I know - crazy girl I am!) and it's finally here. I feel like my life is really about to start. Not sure if that makes any sense but I truly feel like these are going to be some of the best years of my life :) How's that for positive thinking? Sometimes I annoy myself with all my perkiness! Yes I get down sometimes but I really do NOT stay there long. Honestly, there's no point. It's like holding a grudge or being angry - no freakin point.

I've had a lovely visit with my sis the past few days.... we have just laughed so damn much it's kind of scary. Accompanied her to a wonderful wedding celebration yesterday of a dear old friend and everything went wonderfully. It's absolutely wonderful when you go to a wedding for a couple you know should be together.
Sis was highly intoxicated but she was highly entertaining :)

Happy sunday all!

Almost there.....

Yay! Getting better by the day.... I still can't believe how hard this hit me. I am still dealing with the shock of it all I guess.

And after having a really good chat with S tonight I am feeling a lot better. We bought our tickets to the Mariners game and I am sooooo excited to go. Two weeks to go!! And both of us miss eachother but it's just not the right time. Such is life right? And... we're still going to do something on my birthday which makes me very happy as I was starting to think I'd be sitting at home alone because the party is planned for the saturday. But we are going to do something - no idea what but it was the plan so we're sticking to it. Yay.

I don't have to work tomorrow either :) Yay! Took it off to hang with my sis (who is currently passed out in bed) and run errands all day. We're going to stop in to see my dad and maybe get him to take us for lunch :)

Think it's time for bed.....

snap out of it already!

I really want this hollow and nauseous feelings to go away - and now dammit!

Everyone must think I'm the most pathetic thing around.... but even though it was only 4 and a half weeks with him it felt like more and we really truly had a good connection. Just not good enough I guess :(

I have had no appetite for 3 days..... and a nauseous feeling too. I've almost thrown up probably 10 times. WTF? I'm embarassed to even admit to that actually.

I really look forward to being back to normal.... I was fine and happy before him and I will be that way again. Just don't have the patience anymore.

Ugh.

I am going to keep myself busy this week with the gym and groceries on monday, work both jobs on tuesday, then my sister is here for the rest of the week and she better keep me occupied. I might even take wednesday off to shop with her - the only thing holding me back is she's shopping at the mall where S works. Ugh.

Off to clean - just bought myself an early birthday present - a vacuum!!! Woohoo!

On the mend.....

I've been a little down in the dumps the last couple of days but I'm clawing out of it now. It all just came as such a shock as I thought things were great. And they were great. He needs to be alone right now and he saw that we were going in opposite directions with me sharing more with him but him not recriprocating. He's still a bit hung up on the ex among other financial things he needs to take care of. So... last night I went to meet him and we walked and talked for over 2 hours and I am feeling much better about things. Still sad and I miss him terribly but I've been through worse so I know I'll be fine. It was only a month but it was a very intense month for both of us and right now I just miss talking and seeing him every day. Felt more like 6 months really. It has however showed me that I am finally ready for something serious and has showed me the kind of connection I want and what kind of guy I want.

And.... on April 16th I will be officially divorced! The papers came yesterday. I somehow knew when I went to get my mail that they were going to be there too. Weird.

:(

Well it's over. Yup. Very short lived.

He came out to my place last night and when I picked him up he made me pull over so we could *talk*. I should have known that that couldn't be good.

I am so confused and hurt and angry and downright heartbroken right now I can't even post the details.

But after 1 blissful month I am single once more. And I'm ok with that - but I miss him already. How pathetic.

Less than 3 weeks....

The countdown is on for the 31st..... this last year has been one of the best in my life and I know it's only going to get better from here on out. It's already good... I'm ready for it to be great.

Not much new.... still spending lots of time with S..... I do need to start taking a night or two off now and then though as I never see my friends anymore and that's not good. But when you start a new relationship it happens.... I would never drop them for a guy. We really enjoy eachothers company and he makes me laugh and feel absolutely adored. And I can't keep my hands off of him either :)

And I'm contemplating a career move.... I don't really consider myself in a *career* right now but I guess I am. I have an opportunity with a new company though and the only thing really holding me back are the commute and leaving all the people at my current job. I want to see how my year review goes and what they are going to offer me in terms of money. I need more and I deserve more and if it doesn't look like it's going to happen then that might be the push I need to get out of there.

Off to check dinner and wake up S who is napping peacefully in the bedroom :)

Ooops!

So after my big pasta and bread dinner I proceeded to pass out by 9:30 on the couch. That'll teach me to make promises I can't keep.

So things are going really well with S, and he's officially my boyfriend. I feel so young saying that :) Not that I'm old but I haven't had a "boyfriend" for 5 years - the year I got married.

He's amazing..... and well just that. He has opened up a whole other world to me. Not just for his lifestyle but for the attention he gives me. He always makes sure my needs are met and that I'm comfortable etc. I'm more than smitten but that's all I'm going to say about that.

On another note, we're still waiting for the divorce papers to come. Poor R must be just freaking out as he may not get to apply for a work visa and he leaves next month.

And.... less than 4 weeks to the big 3 0 !!! Yahoo.... I should get going on my tattoo soon.

Quick post

Just a quick post.... will be alone tonight so I will actually post something :)

Things are good... real good.