:(

Well tonight I had a bit of a sad bout. I hate them as I'm usually a pretty happy person. It's sickening actually. But I guess it will happen but when it's out of the blue I hate it more.

I just can't seem to win lately. It just figures that by the time I'm finally ready for a relationship I have nothing of the sort even remotely happening. A year ago at this time I could have had the greatest guy with everything I wanted. But... I was not ready in the least. I still think of him and maybe a different time or place and it would have worked but I digress....

Up until S, I really didn't know how ready I was for something. And it was almost more so apparent *after* that ended. Why is that?

And then I think something is happening with another guy that I've been taking a liking to as of late... but nope. It doesn't appear to be mutual. Well there were signs that it was but it's really not looking that way as of late....

So... here I sit.... sad that now that I'm ready and waiting I got nothin'!

I'm really not interested in going back to dating different guys again like I was doing last year.... but I don't want to be actively looking either for something. KWIM?

I have the song 'too many fish in the sea' going through my head so I know I'll be ok but it feels good to get this out of my system..... I think I'm going to *stop* looking and just relax about it all for the time being. Can't force things that aren't there can ya?